Broken
by Bride of Spock
Summary: Remus is broken with the loss of Tonks. Will Sirius be able to help him move on? Not slash.
1. Broken

**A/N: So this is an idea that came to me at one am and was written at ten past. **

**This fic has swears, mainly f-bombs. This is set just after Harry's fifth year, and obviously Sirius lives, so I decided Nymphadora Tonks could die instead. Please review!**

I came downstairs to find Remus in my living room, hunched over and swigging from a rather large bottle of Firewhisky. "Moony?"  
His eyes flicker over to me, briefly acknowledging my presence, before returning all his attention to the bottle, which swings rhythmically up and down as Remus gets drunker than he's ever been in his life. My eyes follow the swing of the Firewhisky, but I'm startled from my trance when he slams the bottle down violently on my coffee table. "Moony?" I say tentatively. "Are you alright?"  
"Why did it have to be her, Sirius!?" Remus yells suddenly.  
"Who?" I knew the answer very well. Why did I even ask?  
"Dora... She was so young, so perfect. Like an egg. But I let her break, Padfoot! I let her break!" He begins sobbing, and occasionally wails.  
"It wasn't your fault, Remus," I say softly.  
"It was, it was," Remus says in a horribly hoarse voice.  
"We couldn't do anything. Dumbledore tried, but Death had already taken her..."  
My little (second) cousin. Dead.  
My mind runs over the timings, tries to find someone to blame. It settles on myself, and in my mind I watch Tonks tumble down the stone steps, under the arch and through the gently wavering curtain. I can still hear Remus howling, Harry yelling, and blank silence from my gaping mouth.

Remus brings me back to reality by taking my arm in a vice like grip and tugging me onto the sofa beside him. He promptly begins sobbing into my shoulder, and I just hold him and soothe him until he finally, finally gets to sleep. I half carry, half drag him to my room and unceremoniously dump him on my bed. He curls up as I climb in beside him. It's not weird. We used to share a bed all the time back in the day, for literal sleeping, I swear. He used to get nightmares just after the full moon struck, and I held him, as I do now, and told him it would be alright.  
I hope it will be alright.

I hold him until morning. At times he half wakes and thrashes in my embrace, but I run my fingers through his hair and he settles down. He stirs, blinking his big caramel eyes, blurred with sleep. Remus raises a hand to his head to puzzle the cause of the blinding hangover headache he no doubt has. "Hey," I said, keeping my voice low.  
"Hey," he says sleepily. "What - why do I - "  
"Lots of Firewhisky," I explain. His face crumples.  
"Tonks," he whispers. He holds out his arms like a child, and I hug him. The moment is ruined by Moony's dash to the bathroom.  
"You alright?" I call.  
"Sure, Sirius. I'm over the fucking moon with - " He cut off as another wave of nausea hit.  
"Sorry. Er - do you need anything?" I ask, cringing at how domestic I sound.  
"Water," he says briefly. I automatically start to call Kreacher, but I'd rather fetch water myself rather than call that little wretch. If I see him anytime soon, I'll kill him.

I can't find the bloody goblets or anything remotely cup-like, so I retrieve my wand and conjure one. The cup ends up being a cracked plastic one, due to my low level of concentration. Never mind.  
Since the Order vacated Number 12, it fell into disrepair once more, and with one glance at the rusting tap I decide against tap water, and merely conjure a stream of clear water from my wand. Lazy, I know, but the tap water is hardly drinkable.

I reach the bathroom and hold out the glass apprehensively, but the spell has passed and Remus looks better, brighter even. I think however happy I make him, nothing will bring light to his deadened eyes, dark and dull with grief without a sliver of happiness.  
Tonks was his ray of hope, and she'd been snatched from him before they'd even begun.  
Life isn't fair, and we'd been forced to learn the hard way.

**A/N: Shall I continue? :)**


	2. Unbroken

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, o faithful one follower! This one's for you! ;)**

Two days later, Remus is curled in the fetal position on my sofa, accepting and eating food almost mechanically, drinking nothing but water, only getting up to go to the bathroom. He can't go on like this.

On the third day, I approach him cautiously, and sit down, taking care not to disturb his nest of blankets or sit in his stash of chocolate. "Hey, Rem," I say quietly.

"Hey, Siri," he replies, staring up at me with empty eyes. Without their usual warmth, his eyes are deep brown chasms of never ending sadness. Somehow he manages to project all his emotions through his eyes, and I feel terrible that I can't help him.

"What do you want me to do, Rem?"

He's falling asleep, but I hear his whisper, "Cuddle me." It's childish and silly, but he seems reassured by the presence of my arms around him. He sighs in contentment and drifts off into a comfortable sleep.

* * *

It's been a month since Tonks was taken from us.

Remus is improving. He helps around the house and talks to me with a smile in his eyes. He still has nightmares some nights, and that's okay, because he's better than he was, so much better. He's healing.

There was nothing to bury, but she has a tombstone in the graveyard opposite my house. Most days Remus will go out, under a disillusionment charm, and sit for hours, just talking. It calms him, and helps him get to grips with her death.

You know he will never be over her, not really.

And that's okay, because you will always be there for him.

**A/N: Sorry it's short...and kind of rushed. **

**I think it's okay though :)**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


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